Di manakah aku?

Aku suka bercakap tentang motivasi, tapi aku tak tau teori motivasi. Semuanya yang ku cakap mengikut rasa-rasa aje.
Aku suka isu agama, tapi sikitpun aku tak ingat secara tepat tentang ayat al_Quran ataupun hadis Rasul (SAW).
Aku nak hurai isu mikrobiologi dalam researchku, tapi aku tak mahir langsung pasal mikrob.
Kalau tanya anak-anak aku, mesti aku ni mak yang biasa-biasa aje.
Kalau tanya suami aku, mesti aku ni isteri yang biasa-biasa aje.
Kalau tanya mak aku, mesti aku ni anak yang biasa-biasa aje.
Kalau tanya Ketua jabatan aku pun sama..biasa je.
Kalau tanya supervisor pun, mesti biasa je..
Ape nak jadi dengan aku?
Takkan selamanya aku nak biasa-biasa aje?

Ada sorang ustaz pernah cakap.."manusia dilahirkan dengan potensi masing-masing..".."Ustaz cakap untuk diri dia sendiri, "aku tak dilahirkan untuk jadi manusia biasa-biasa aje.."

Sekarang aku cakap untuk diri aku.."aku tak dilahirkan untuk jadi manusia biasa-biasa aje..paling kurang biarlah paling bermanfaat untuk orang lain...selari dengan hadis nabi tentang manusia hebat ialah orang yang bermanfaat bagi orang lain.."(tak boleh quote lagi pasal ketika ini aku masih biasa...)

Stress

Aku tak lalu makan. Tandanya aku stress.
Mukaku mula dipenuhi jerawat lagi. Tandanya aku stress.
Tidur ku banyak dan sangat susah bangun. Adakah aku stress? (ahahahah...yang ni aku keliru)

Tiada alasan lagi.

Salam.
Dulunya (1996-1997) ketika aku di sekolah menengah aku adalah pelajar jurusan sains tulen. Hanya terdapat satu sahaja kelas sains tulen berbanding empat kelas sains kejuruteraan di sekolah ku. Jelas ketika itu hasrat kerajaan adalah untuk meramaikan jurutera di negara kita. Aku juga heran, mengapa aku layak di kelas sains tulen, kerana setahu ku, cuma mereka yang betul-betul pandai sahaja yang layak di situ. Oh, ya, sebelumnya, aku juga heran mengapa aku mendapat 8 A semasa PMR kerana sesedar aku, aku ini tidak pandai. Malahan pernah di marah oleh cikgu geografi kerana lambat menyiapkan tugasan "projek geografi"yang tersangat penting. Waduh, ini bukan marah-marah biasa ya, marah yang tersangat marah sehingga mengatakan aku lah pelajar malas yang sangat menghairankan guruku itu. Hehehe...(macam tak percaya). Aku percaya "A" yang ku perolehi untuk subjek geografi (dan subjek-subjek lain) adalah daripada pertolongan Allah semata-mata. Kerana di suatu dinihari sebelum peperiksaan PMR kertas geografi, apa yang ku baca, itulah soalan yang keluar keesokan hari nya. Memang atas izin Allah sahaja!
Dan ya, orang puteh kata "miracle does not happen twice". Jadi kemalasan ku ternyata berbayar dengan keputusan SPM ku yang hanyalah 15 aggregat. Agak memalukan untuk aku yang bersekolah di asrama penuh. Hihi..
Tapi, atas perkara lain, aku juga sibuk bercinta monyet. Realiti bahawa aku sedikit cute sebenarnya tidak berapa menguntungkan aku dari segi pelajaran. Tenaga ku yang sepatutnya dialirkan untuk belajar, telah ku bazirkan kepada menulis surat-surat cinta monyet. Hehehe. (Ternyata aku bukan suka, tapi malu dengan cinta monyet itu!).
Oh ya, sambung cerita 15 aggregat ku. Aku agak bersyukur kerana bapaku telah pulang kerahmatullah beberapa bulan sebelum SPM dan beliau tidak mengetahui akan keputusanku yang buruk itu. Kalau tidak, arwah bapaku tentu kecewa.
Jadi, dengan bosan dan patah hati aku pun mengisi borang UPU untuk ke universiti. Dapat pula aku masuk ke matrik UPM di bawah kelolaan kolej swasta, Inpens Kolej yang sekarang ini, Universiti Industri Selangor.
Di situlah aku cuba mengutip cebisan-cebisan semangat ku. Aku berusaha bersungguh-sungguh belajar setekunnya dan cuba untuk bangkit kembali....
Aduh...aku harus melakukan pekerjaan lain sekarang, jadi sambung cerita lain kali.
Mesej aku kali ini, "I not stupid, tapi malas. Sekarang, tiada alasan untuk aku tidak pandai mempelajari apakah itu 'heat shock protein'. Nanti aku sambung cerita".

I'm panic and cannot focus

Tomorrow I will have an appointment with my big supervisor. I'm so nervous because from the meeting with my daily (less big) supervisor yesterday, I still do not really grab his idea and I think that some of his suggestions cannot be materialized and are against the concept that I want to implement in my research.

Now, I'm trying to understand some of microbiology concepts and use the concepts as the reasons of my study. I must do oral practice this evening so that I can explain my ideas and try to make my big and less big supervisors convince of my ideas.

Huh..huh...I'm nervous and cannot focus!

Music lesson

When I was kid, I learned to play keyboard by myself. My sister put label (D,E,F,F#.....) on each key of her keyboard and she also put the same label on her musical notes, therefore I could play the song. It was a small keyboard but I really enjoyed playing it. I remember father said if he was rich, he surely sent me to piano lesson. But then he was never a rich man..but still always a great father. When I was in standard six, I joined my school musical group but we only played pianicas, recorders, an organ and a big drum since our school didn't have money to buy better instruments. But when we played together, the feeling was already perfect for me. (I didn't exactly remember which song we played). The program was organized by Ministry of Agriculture (Sanusi Junid) to give opportunities to students from rural areas to experience music as we knew music was (is) mainly for rich people.

When I went to secondary school I always admired our school orchestra and brass band but I never thought of joining them. I was too shy, I knew for sure.

And until today, I always enjoy piano, or flute, or guitar, or orchestra...and still thinking of joining a piano lesson. My most favourite song is Pachelbel's Canon in D!

On the other hand, due to money and time limitation, I think I should learn on improving my Quran reading...who knows if I die tomorrow......... Even so, I still can enjoy music!

Jangan kecil hati

Jangan kecil hati,
Bila kita tak secantik orang lain
Bila kulit tak seperti telur di kupas
Bila hidung tak seperti orang Turki
Bila pinggang tak seramping Saloma
Bila tak pandai berbahasa seperti Wan Zaleha Radzi
Bila kasut, handbag, perfume, baju tak semahal macam officemate suami
Bila bila bila......
Sampai bila nak bandingkan diri dengan orang lain?
Hehehe..
Cuba kenangkan orang yang lebih susah
BERSYUKURlah!
I am SPECIAL!

What have you learned today??

Eemmmm.... learning process is forever, starting from the day we are born, until the day we die. Look at the photo. She's my youngest daugther. The picture was taken when she was one day old. I believe that at that time she has already in her learning process. She must felt the difference in her environment. For almost 9 months she was in the womb, feeling safe in there, and suddenly there were some external and internal force that made her out to a NEW world. And without knowing she actually learned to feed, listen, see, feel and to communicate with people around her. And the learning process never stop and it is a very natural process.

As we grow, most of us are forced to learn. Of course it is for good reason. Sometimes we never know what on earth we are reading, what are the reasons to know certain things. When this situation happen, there come the important role of parents, teacher or anyone. All the logic and the reasons must be explained carefully to keep the motivation sky high. Slowly, we learn to learn independently. We decide on our own what we want to learn, where should we learn, who are the right person to ask, and how are we going to learn.

Finally all the knowledge must be able to shape us to be a true person. A kind of person that can give most benefits to people around him/her. And that can bring him/her and all the people a successful life, here and here after.

"Ya Allah, reward us with beneficial knowledge and give us the ability to understand"