when mama's already home

I did not have much problem to win back my youngest daughter, Hannah after six months I was away from her. Most probably because she stayed with my mother, my two sisters and my two nieces age 21 and 17. So Hannah used to have many women around her. Same went to Adam and Fatima, obviously because they always recognize me as their mother. I was so thankful and never can describe the feeling when finally we met again.

Adam and Fatima always quarrel with each other about who wants to sleep next to me. In fact, this problem happen since I had Hannah almost one year ago and now it happen again almost every night. It is a problem to decide who will sleep next to me because Hannah also wants to be on my one side (of course Hannah has win the competition). I will always try my best to console Adam since he's the eldest brother and can understand my explanation better than Fatima. The easiest way to discuss with Adam is by telling him that I will change my position and sleep next to him when the two girls are already slept. Unfortunately I did not do as promised a couple of times and had disappointed Adam. Just last night when I broke the promise again, when he saw me this morning, the first question he asked was why didn't I sleep next to him. Emm...after today I know I must not break the promise again.

Why do I take this thing so seriously since I know to some of you might think that this problem is very simple. The answer is, whenever I have argument with my babies, I will never let them sleep with bad feeling. I believe that it is not healthy for kids to sleep with negative emotions. I will try my best to finish any argument and tell them that they are good children and I love them so much.

Empty head

Today is Thurday. Next Thursday I will be boarding an airplane, to go back to Malaysia. Home sweet home. Actually life is more challenging in every aspects back in my country. But that is my real life. I thank God for my life. I pray that I will always do the best in all situation. I hope I can always control my emotion (that can turn out to be really crazy, God please forbid).

Emm...so lately I didn't do much reading like I used to do weeks before. It was not because I already had enough knowledge, but mainly because I finished writing my proposal last week. So I told myself (indirectly) that I could have some rest. But when I read the proposal again yesterday, I realized how ' imperfect' it was. In other way, there were to many things to be improved. Huh....it was real hard to write when you didn't know about what you were writing. How do I learn to write!!!

I must learn writing. Since my English is not perfect, with a very limited vocabularies, and with least skills...my writing looks dry and the paragraphs do not seem to integrate nicely. Arrrggghhh......!!! Now rather than checking my facebook every now and then, I better do an english exercise from the internet. pllleeeaaaasssee.....

(Soo, no rest for me? Time is gold..do something fun but make sure I am learning from it)

End of story...see...no coherence of ideas right?? The topic jump from one to another!!! Huwwwaaarrgghhh!

Challenges in summer

It's summer. A very challenging season for me because night is short and I have to perform three prayers (sholat), one around 10:00 pm till 11:40pm [maghrib], one between 11:40pm till 03:30 [i'sya'], and final [fajr] between 03:30 till 05:30. The problem is, I normally go to bed around 10 pm. This is my standard sleeping time wherever I am...so after maghrib I sleep and I have to wake up again at least one time, normally between 03:00 to 04:00 am to perform Isya'and Fajr. Alhamdulillah, normally I manage not to skip these prayers although I missed few times in which I was really tired and did not awake at all. Again alhamdulillah...if it is not from the strenght given from Him, I will never be able to do my prayers. (This is why when we heard adzan (calling for prayers) when the bilal said "haiya a'la sholah" which means lets perform prayer, we have to answer it by "lahau lawala quwwata illa billah" which means there is no change or power except through Allah).

This reminds me a lot to always be thankful to Allah whenever I finish performing my sholat, and never ever look down to people who do not perform their prayers. Of course, our effort is to teach and train a muslim (especially those who are close with us) to perform prayers at the very beginning of age, but our hearts belong to Allah. HE can twist our hearts, even if we are very well trained, we could fall into the false direction. Therefore, we must not be proud of ourself but keep asking guidance from Allah and be thankful.

May Allah guide us and protect us...forgive us Our Lord...

PhD oh PhD

Salam,

This blog now is my diary. Of course I will not write anything privacy here. Obviously now I need someone to talk to. But since nobody can listen to me now...here I am..blogging.

Just met my supervisor. I received many comments from him and they were constructive comments.

He told me how to think and organize my idea and put them into a comprehensive way of writing. It was so nice that he tried his best to simplify his talk so that I got to the point. Emm...what's the point of talking if I didn't understand right?

Fuh....actually...I have to start writing now. :) Anyway, tips from my supervisor,

1. Write backward....for my case I have listed 5 objectives, therefore, construct my text based on the objectives.

2. Emm??

Hehe..till then!

Pesanan kepada anak-anak

Salam,
Juga peringatan kepada saya seorang anak;

First, SOLAT 5 waktu sehari semalam.
Seterusnya...

1. Sentiasa doakan ibu dan ayah, "Ya Allah, ampunilah kedua ibu dan ayahku dan kasihanilah kedua ibu bapaku sebagaimana mereka mengasihaniku sejak kecil".
2. Janganlah menyakiti hati ibu dan ayah. Gembirakan mereka.
3. Selalu menziarahi ibu dan ayah.
4. Rajin-rajin tolong ibu dan ayah.

InshaAllah akan disambung bila ada idea untuk improve.

Pesanan kepada si ayah dan si ibu

Salam,
Also a reminder to myself and all beloved parents around the world,

First and foremost....dirikan solat.
Seterusnya....

1. Berikan didikan agama dan duniawi yang terbaik yang kita mampu kepada anak-anak.
2. Berikan nafkah yang halal (makanan yang halal, sumber yang halal).
3. Sekiranya buat pembelian (apa sahaja contohnya minyak kereta, sabun mandi, berus gigi) menggunakan kad kredit, buat pembayaran cepat-cepat supaya tidak dikenakan interest. Ingat, interest itu riba', riba' itu haram.
4. Jagalah aurat dengan sempurna.
5. Tundukkan pandangan, jangan memandang sesuatu yang bukan hak.
6. Bersabar dengan kerenah anak-anak. Bak kata pepatah, merekalah racun, merekalah penawar.
7. Jagalah tutur kata. Mereka belajar daripada kita.
8. Cuba usahakan supaya anak-anak kita berada dalam lingkungan orang-orang yang soleh, yang positif supaya anak-anak kita sentiasa belajar perkara yang baik.
9. Terangkan di dunia ini ada banyak anasir jahat, tapi ajar anak-anak kita berdoa supaya terpelihara daripada sesuatu yang jahat itu.
10. Kenali potensi anak-anak dan dorong mereka supaya berjaya.
11. Bercakap dengan nasihat yang jelas. Instead "jangan malas", sebut "jadi rajin". Instead, "jangan lari", sebut "jalan perlahan".
12. Doakan anak-anak kita...

Banyak lagi, but to me..these are fundamental....Allah knows best.

How to feel good

Salam,
Things that I learn for myself to always feel good:

1. Make myself busy with something good. Pray to Allah that every time will be spent with something useful.
2. Do not blame or give negative comment to a system, a person, or anything unless my comment is really needed for improvement. If what I say will not change anything to be better, I must shut up my mouth.
3. Think think think before I say anything. Do not talk rubbish.
4. Be thankful
5. Try to look everything on it's positive side.
6. Everything that is around me is my teacher. Learn learn learn... therefore, do not look down to anything or anyone, as they can teach me something about life..be good or bad..